i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
