i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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