eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
