Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
