I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
