Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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