So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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