The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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