I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
