I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
