if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
