its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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