I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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