he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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