If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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