i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
