At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
