I cockslap morals
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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