i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
