he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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