We named our party play list daddy issues
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
