She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
