Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
