woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
