Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
