I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
