Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
