thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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