I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize