Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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