my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish i was in the wii world.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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