WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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