Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
