If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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