dude i'm inner monologue high
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
