Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the condom got lost in my hair
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize