so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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