I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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