once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
