Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
