ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
