What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize