I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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