Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can I color on your dick again?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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