I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
