OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
