Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
