The brown eye won't let me do that either.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
