if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I am morally bankrupt
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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