Sry I called you an 8
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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