PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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