okay pat passed out under dana's car
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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