we're blogging at a bar
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
