Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you never un-have a 4some
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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