Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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