I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
