Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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