During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
