I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
