they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
