How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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