Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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