What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
